Published!

My column summarizing some of my racially-charged experiences in Mississippi is out!
Check it out at JacksonFreePress.com

Work log 62711

Random thing I started writing the other day. It's written in third-person, which makes me giggle.

Rose woke up before her alarm, with Murmur greeting her as soon as she sat up.
She checked her messages and teased a friend about how he wasn't "THAT stupid."
Rose's mom made her special crispy waffles which Rose gobbled up. She had a small teacup of coffee that had a splash of chocolate in it.
She was disappointed that Homestuck wasn't updated but anticipated exiting ones to come. She felt too lazy to take a shower, so she picked out a red wrap shirt and grey trousers to wear.
Rose fed the cats, ran her hands through her hair, made sure she put on deodorant and dashed out the door.

Every morning at the job she despises (due to boredom, lack of creativity and general annoyances) starts out pretty much the same. Some inane passive-aggressive comment is made and she does her best to ignore it. Between intermittent customers, she stares outside, spacing out while listening to birdsong and doodling. In particular, she worked on a picture of Jacob kayaking, which is hilarious to her because she describes him as, "that 40-foot-tall guy." She also worked on a tattoo she's designing to go on her left wrist.
She scolds herself on the sheer amount of clothes she has that she doesn't wear.
Before lunches begin, she asks her supervisor if she can switch hours because she has a migraine. Her supervisor thinking it'll be busy, so she has to stay. During her lunch, she eats of cucumber sandwich and popcorn and downloads some game to her phone, half of which she gets bored of and deletes.
Back from lunch, her migraine lessens in pain but begins to affect her speech and reactions: math comes quicker, but conversation that requires her to think slows. She feels her expressions look nearly drunk and words are slurred. She doesn't feel as passionate about things as she normally does... perhaps migraines release her inner Gamzee (to use fangirl terminology) but in reverse.
One of Rose's coworkers laughs at something she says.
Rose's response was, "If you thought that was funny, just wait. The more this migraine continues, the more weird it's going to get."
Her bad hearing gets even worse and so does her hunger.
A gentleman came in wearing an ivory straw hat and bright pink suit. His reasoning was, "You gotta look good when you come [into the bank] to get money."
At Rose's work, aerosol dust cleaners are frowned upon because various people have allergies or respiratory infections. Rose wishes that rudeness was frowned upon because she has an allergy to assholes.

Responses

PHOTOGRAPHS BY CARTER SMITH

GQ June 2011

My imagined response to seeing this in real life:

Oh! Well, hi there, Mr. Skarsgard.

What's that? You need me to tie that tie for you? No problem!

My realistic response to seeing this in real life:

Stare him down while slack-jawed, then pull one of these:

And THEN tie the tie for him.

I got skills, yo.

On a sidenote: True Blood season 4 comes out June 26. Get your necks ready.

Refreshing fashion

Since Nerds 2 or E3 2011 summary will have to wait since someone got called for jury duty, I decided some refreshing fashion will have to tide us over...
or at least just some pictures of outfits I find cute.

I'm loving the casual feel and the striped socks

How cute!

Who love calivintage.com? This girl! Was just introduced to it today and immediately fell in love.

How adorable is this? I love browsing curveappeal on tumblr.

And remember: smiling is ALWAYS in fashion.

NERDS or E3 2010 summary

My good friend, Mr. Cheese, is into video game coverage in a way I can only envy.
I don't have the attention span to go the distance that he does.
But I am lucky. I get to have the coverage summarized for me in his usual wit and prose. And this time, he has consented to me sharing nerdgasms with you.

To bring you up to speed, I give you:
Mr. Toasters Cheese's E3 2010 summary:
(the text has been altered to leave out answers to my goofy questions... unless they're hilarious;
also, lack of punctuation and grammar is kept for realism)

Last year Microsoft showed a bunch of "awesome" first person shooters and then "wowed" everyone with their new Kinect bullshit. They wrapped up by revealing their BRAND NEW CONSOLE which was an Xbox 360 with built in wifi, something it should have had since the start


Will Microsoft be a big of a screw up as they were last year?
Can't really say, no one has revealed what they will be discussing at their conferences really. What is to be expected: more kinect, more HALO, more GEARS OF WAR, more YAWN

Hillarious thing from last year that I hope happens again: when they paused for people to clap, no one clapped

After Microsoft, Electronic Arts will be having their press conference. Last year EA talked about all their SPORTS GAMES (whooooooo) and how you can WATCH OTHER PEOPLE PLAY THEIR GAMES! Just like watching

real sports

Purchase a game just to watch people play the game?

aw-right.

This was followed by a like 5 minute video talking about how people live their lives or some bullshit while talking about Sims 3.

THATS RIGHT, SIMS 3, A GAME THAT WAS OUT OVER A YEAR AGO, IS NOW COMING TO ALL CONSOLES.

The big reveal!!!!!!!!!

ALRIGHT!!!!!!

SIDE NOTE: gametrailier's live E3 stream fail

theres no sound

and yet people are still talking to each other

After EA we're going to have Ubisoft.

Not going to lie, don't remember much of all about Ubisoft's press conference last year. Let me try to piece it together.

The first part was them showing off a bunch of games they showed off at the Microsoft Press Conference earlier that morning.

I almost stopped watching here but I continued.

Rose says: for the good of all of us

I remember seeing the badass trailer to Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. Which only made me want to play the series more, which I finally got to do. I saw a bunch of games they were working on including a Rayman game! Holy crap Rayman!

And then the finished up telling everyone to "beat it" with a live performance of a bunch of people dancing to Michael Jackson's Beat It

At this point Ubisoft was doing best.

Which was kind of sad.

But that's ok, we had Sony coming up, surely they could beat everyone else after the fuck was going on during the morning.

sidenote: lol they randomly showed the wrong camera

some random chick sitting at a desk looking bored as fuck with some guy working on cue cards

Rose says: ::thumbs way up::

SONY E3 2010!!! THIS WAS GOING TO BE SWEET.

The Playstation move. Yeah so it's kind of like the Wiimote but there's this giant huge gay ball on top. It's way more precise than the Wii wihch makes it better. 

Oh but don't notice we have NO MENTIONABLE GAMES for the playstation move yet.

And instead of watching game trailers, lets watch commercials. Yes. Commercials for games that are going to be coming out.

Rose says: >_<

But you know our amazing ad campaign for PS3 that you all seem to like with that comedy dude? Yeah well we found a little kid that's like exactly like him. So we're going to use him for a PSP ad campaign

that we will UNDOUBTEDLY drop after 4 months because no one likes him

Oh hey look it's Gabe Newall from VALVe. Portal 2 and Steam for PS3 is your big announcement? Gigantic fuck you to everyone hoping for Half Life Episode 3.

Trollface.jpg

So what about this year for Sony?

They couldn't fuck up any more than they did last year right?

Rose says: wrong

Oh what about their security? Storing everything on plain text! Nice! Not only did the Sony PSN get hacked, but another sony website got hacked too. Because everything was stoed on PLAIN TEXT YET AGAIN.

They're going to have to pull a lot more out than "hey there's an optional monthly fee for PSN to make it even better"

YEAH BIG FUCKING DEAL, next please

the big N, next day. Nintendo is always on a separate day. Everyone went into Nintendo thinking it would be as bad as the previous years, at least based on the fuck ups from the first day of E3.

Wii Music

xfd

Instead, people were greeted with

Rose says: bees

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY, MARIO, ZELDA SKYWARD SWORD, KIRBY, KID ICARUS, METROID

while not all of these games succeeded as much as they hoped

They hit what the fans wanted from Nintendo. Sequels of all of Nintendo's big things instead of shitty family happy games

Then Nintendo was like lol Nintendo 3DS. It's a 3D game console with no glasses!

And then they revealed a TONNE of more games that people wanted to play on Nintendo consoles and tonnes of games that people would love to play in 3D

What about Nintendo for this year?

The successor to the Wii is supposedly going to be revealed. More powerful than the PS3 or Xbox 360. A lot of promises, but it might not be as good as expected. (It's rumored to have 8 GB of a HDD. uhhh ok)

Nintendo is the biggest to watch right now though.

All Microsoft has is Halo 4, Gears of War 3, and

...........................

...........................

.................................

and Sony has security issues which they probably need to address because just showing a ton of games isn't going to cut it

thats my summary of 2010

and what to expect for 2011

and

FINALLY

my major disappointments

of both 2010 and 2011

the lack of new games

aka

not sequels