The dreamy one

I LOVE this dress.
The color, the cut, the floaty flowing dreaminess of it.

via Mod Cloth

I love ogling Mod Cloth.
However, I don't love that too few of their pieces would fit my curvy frame.
According to their size charts, I fit their XL/1X sizes, depending on whether I'm having a chubby day or not.

heehee

Sadly, the above dress' largest size is L. ::pout::

Maybe someday, as I am currently being a lot more determined about losing some weight.
I'm cringing as I'm typing this... but to be perfectly honest, I admit that I am on the other size of 200 pounds.
I've been told that I don't look 200+. I assume it all matters in how and where people carry their weight.
But it's not healthy.

I want it gone. I don't want to see 200 ever again!
I'm not asking to be a size 2 again. I felt so awkward and lanky.
I want size 12... 10 tops!

But at the end of the day... and the beginning and the middle: I'm a girl with polycystic ovarian syndrome.
It's incredibly tough to lose weight when you have PCOS.
I've used medication to lose weight. Medication that I can only take for three to six months without having serious repercussions. So I'm giving it a try again.
I'm going to have to do.. well, you can call it weight management for the rest of my life if I don't want to continue gaining weight.

It's going to be tough.
Wish me luck!

Sorry

My sympathy goes out to Japan.
And though it sounds really trite, I don't know what else I can say.
Watching the news, staring in disbelief at the images filling the screen. I thought I was watching one of those "end of the world" movies.
Sadly, it was Japan's reality now full of hurt, pain, confusion, chilled water and angry earth.

I felt almost guilty that the first thought to come to mind was something along the lines of, "Holy crap... I'm so glad Nick (my brother) left Japan a few weeks ago."
It's true. My brother was stationed in Japan, not too far from Tokyo I believe.
He came back to the States not but two weeks ago-ish, to his new stationing closer to home.

Guilt, relief, shame.
Disbelief, sorrow, grief.

Japan's given us some pretty cool stuff.
I think we should give a little back.

I'm donating to the American Red Cross, which is sending relief efforts to Japan.
Will you be donating? If so, where?

A question on the pets

I was asked about the situations presented in the previous post, specifically the pet situation.
I can honestly and sorrowfully say that I have witnessed pet punishment, even when someone was trying to impress me.

And when I say punishment, I clearly mean torture.
Let me explain.

A few years back, I had gone to dinner with a man whom we will call BH.
BH seemed like a nice catch at the time.
We were introduced by a mutual friend. And, though my first impression had him tacked as a flighty and flaky guy, I was willing to get him another shot because I believe that people deserve second chances despite the fact that my first impressions are usually spot on. A flake doesn't deserve my disdain, but I don't deserve to put up with more than my fair dosage.
And our second meeting went great - talked for hours on his couch while I played with his dogs.
So, when he asked me to drinks, dinner, movie, I accepted.
He may be a flake, but he may also be fun too. And he has pets!

BH seemed like a nice catch at the time. Kind, witty and funny, he was cordial with the wait staff. And he had chosen a great place: a well-known Mexican restaurant that was also the town favorite. And they had great cheese dip.
A++ in my book.

Then, we went back to his place to watch a movie.
We were greeted at the door by his pack of dogs - all of whom were incredibly sweet and lovable.
As we watched the movie, my attention was more on the dog laying its head on my knee.
I had already seen the movie, so I was more than fine with chilling with this sweet pup while BH and I discussed actor choices and great scenes.
And I use the term 'pup' loosely as the 'pup' in question was easily 30 pounds and at least 4 years old.
Things were going fine, until the pup hopped onto my lap.

Let me build a scenario for you: you've heard of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, right?
Well, someone let Mr. Hyde out of Dr. BH.
He flew off the couch, knocking over sodas and snacks as he grabbed for the dog.
He hoisted the pup up, gripping his neck and shaking him.

I'm not sure what he was screaming at the poor thing as I was in a state of shock, fear and speechlessness.
I jumped up as he shoved the dog away from him. He stopped me from rushing over to the pup and I obliged because I didn't want to be hoisted as well.
He tried to explain away his actions, stating that he had been training the dogs not to jump on people.
My retort was as the dogs were used to being able to sit on the couch, it's not their fault. And that his actions scared me, the pup, the other dogs and was totally uncalled for. He apologized and said he rarely got this angry with them.
For the rest of the movie, we sat in near silence. Well, he talked and I made noncommittal noises while glancing at the pup.
I swear he fixed me with eyes that said, "Get out while you can."

And I did.
But not until after a few more olive branch attempts, his flakiness infuriating me and another rage attack against another of his dogs.
I had got it into my head that I could somehow help cool his anger and save his dogs. He blamed his anger on his treatment in a past relationship. I didn't quite think this was the whole story. And this 'saving the pups' didn't quite work out.
We hung out infrequently and he eventually moved away.

I can't understand someone getting so mad at something that loves them unconditionally.
Sure, pets can break stuff and poop on the floor. They're smart, but not as smart as humans, ok?
It's not like you see people treating babies the same way for doing the same thing.

Hmm... considering the tone of current events, that's not really a good analogy.
Ugh...