The dreamy one

I LOVE this dress.
The color, the cut, the floaty flowing dreaminess of it.

via Mod Cloth

I love ogling Mod Cloth.
However, I don't love that too few of their pieces would fit my curvy frame.
According to their size charts, I fit their XL/1X sizes, depending on whether I'm having a chubby day or not.

heehee

Sadly, the above dress' largest size is L. ::pout::

Maybe someday, as I am currently being a lot more determined about losing some weight.
I'm cringing as I'm typing this... but to be perfectly honest, I admit that I am on the other size of 200 pounds.
I've been told that I don't look 200+. I assume it all matters in how and where people carry their weight.
But it's not healthy.

I want it gone. I don't want to see 200 ever again!
I'm not asking to be a size 2 again. I felt so awkward and lanky.
I want size 12... 10 tops!

But at the end of the day... and the beginning and the middle: I'm a girl with polycystic ovarian syndrome.
It's incredibly tough to lose weight when you have PCOS.
I've used medication to lose weight. Medication that I can only take for three to six months without having serious repercussions. So I'm giving it a try again.
I'm going to have to do.. well, you can call it weight management for the rest of my life if I don't want to continue gaining weight.

It's going to be tough.
Wish me luck!

Fruitier than a Fruit bat

Some of you may already know that I went to look at an apartment yesterday.
It was awesome!
Super tall ceilings, neat little sculpture things where fireplaces used to be, lots of shelves; I was in real estate heaven. It was so quaint and adorable, I wanted to rent it on the spot!
However, the realtor wasn’t sure that water/gas was separate from the fee. And I’m still under my current lease until the end of March.
Yet, it doesn’t hurt to wish.
Will call back Monday to find out info. Perhaps it will still be on the market in March. And perhaps I can save up enough to pay for the extra fees (deposit and such).


Some of you may already know that I had a little breakdown yesterday.
And since this blog also part sounding board for other PCOS sufferers, I thought I would vent a few of my frustrations over yesterday.
While PCOS wasn’t the main assailant in yesterday’s upset, it certainly helped.
Thoughts about how “there is no cure and how it’s really unfair” keep circulating around in my head.
This did nothing but make matters worse.
Sure, PCOS is incurable; but it’s not terminal.
Sure I’ll have to deal with this for the rest of my life; but it could be worse.
Medication is taken to treat the symptoms and aid in my comfort.
It’s not the end of the world. Sure, the world is a difficult place and I don’t really need the added stress.
But just like the poor thing, PCOS gives me character…. crazy, angry character.


I also realized that I said ‘sure’ no less than five times in this post. XD