Snail on my sleeve

Disclaimer: Before anyone thinks I'm talking about them, don't worry; I'm not. It's all about me. Me me me. XD

So, I have a problem.
This problem has been around since I've been born:

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I easily fall in love.

I do. It's all or nothing for me. I either care about someone/something or I don't. And if I'm inbetween, it's just because I haven't made up my mind yet.
And I don't just mean with people; I mean with animals and inanimate objects.

Example:
There was a snail on the side of my apartment the other day. I cooed at it and waved as I went to work, thinking that snails are slow and I'll see it when I'm on my lunch break.
When I came back on my lunch break, I found it crushed. It had worked its way to the ground and had been stepped on.
I was so sad.

Is this normal?

And this leads to even more problems than crying over crushed molluscans; it leads to me getting in my own way.

If I'm giving 110 percent, for some silly reason, I expect it in return. Be it friendship/relationship/coworker....ship.
Then, when the 110 percent isn't given back, I'm incredibly disappointed.
I set myself up for the fall!

Why?!
Why do I continue to do this to myself?!
Why do I think that someone is going to be on the exact wavelength?

It's not really purposeful..... it's pretty much automatic with me.

Internet doctor....

... means serious bidniz....

So, I was playing web doctor the other day, searching for other ways of PCOS relief besides medication..... and it apparently doesn't exist. Granted, eating healthy and taking exercise helps; but they are nothing without meds. :(

My general doctor subscribes to WebMD and suggested it to me since I insist on playing web doctor. She did it mostly to keep me out of trouble and from hyperventilating over false prognoses.

But yes, as written and told, the best 'medication' for PCOS relief is to lose weight.
However, PCOS ladies can't lose weight without medication. >.<>PCOS occurs when the ovaries don’t make enough hormones for the eggs to fully mature. Instead of releasing a mature egg during ovulation, some of the follicles in the ovaries turn into fluid-filled sacs called cysts. More than six out of every 10 women who have PCOS are also overweight.

Why does polycystic ovary syndrome cause weight gain?

With PCOS, the body has more difficulty using the hormone insulin, which normally helps convert sugars and starches from foods into energy. This condition -- called insulin resistance -- can cause insulin and sugar -- glucose -- to build up in the bloodstream.

High insulin levels increase the production of male hormones called androgens. High androgen levels lead to symptoms such as body hair growth, acne, irregular periods -- and weight gain. Because the weight gain is triggered by male hormones, it is typically in the abdomen. That is where men tend to carry weight. So instead of having a pear shape, women with PCOS have more of an apple shape. (thankfully, I don't have an apple shape, just a big stomach)

What can I do to lose weight if I have polycystic ovary syndrome?

Losing weight not only can help you look better -- it can also make you feel better. When you have PCOS, shedding just 10% of your body weight can bring your periods back to normal. It can also help relieve some of the symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome.

Weight loss can improve insulin sensitivity. That will reduce your risk of diabetes, heart disease, and other PCOS complications."

The article then goes on to say to visit your doctor, who will prescribe medication and eat healthy. Great, more medication. :(

Well, if it helps, then I can't complain... too much. :P

I'm a size 16 now and I'd like to go back to size 12, or 10 even.
Going to see the endo doctor Tuesday, so cross your fingers and hope these meds are cheap. O.o

BTW: Murmur got altered yesterday and is doing fine.

Fruitier than a Fruit bat

Some of you may already know that I went to look at an apartment yesterday.
It was awesome!
Super tall ceilings, neat little sculpture things where fireplaces used to be, lots of shelves; I was in real estate heaven. It was so quaint and adorable, I wanted to rent it on the spot!
However, the realtor wasn’t sure that water/gas was separate from the fee. And I’m still under my current lease until the end of March.
Yet, it doesn’t hurt to wish.
Will call back Monday to find out info. Perhaps it will still be on the market in March. And perhaps I can save up enough to pay for the extra fees (deposit and such).


Some of you may already know that I had a little breakdown yesterday.
And since this blog also part sounding board for other PCOS sufferers, I thought I would vent a few of my frustrations over yesterday.
While PCOS wasn’t the main assailant in yesterday’s upset, it certainly helped.
Thoughts about how “there is no cure and how it’s really unfair” keep circulating around in my head.
This did nothing but make matters worse.
Sure, PCOS is incurable; but it’s not terminal.
Sure I’ll have to deal with this for the rest of my life; but it could be worse.
Medication is taken to treat the symptoms and aid in my comfort.
It’s not the end of the world. Sure, the world is a difficult place and I don’t really need the added stress.
But just like the poor thing, PCOS gives me character…. crazy, angry character.


I also realized that I said ‘sure’ no less than five times in this post. XD