Updating frequently

Sunday, August 15, 2010

We can't stop here, this is zombie country

If there's one thing I've learned from watching movies, it's this: if there's an old guy who seems to know an awful lot of what's going on, it's best to listen to him.
Generally, if there's zombies, monsters, etc. out there, and he's warning you about it, it would do you great justice to get the hell out.
As a matter of fact, as soon as a strange, old guy shows up at your door, pack your bags. You can listen to his story as you make your way out.
Better yet, as soon as you open the door and he's standing there: leave. Just go. Offer to have him walk with you if need be to get helpful hints and strange lore. Whatever. Just go.

Besides, old people are easier to trip and you might need a decoy/distraction.
Just saying.

Dead Snow, or what I like to refer to as: Zombie soldiers of the SS, almost made me want to rent a cabin and see what happens. Almost.
Snowball fights, snowskiing, snuggling together to keep warm, sitting around while chatting and playing board games; all sounds wonderful... until the whole Nazi zombie thing puts a damper on your day.
And it's freezing cold, yo.
And outhouses... seriously?

Now, as the movie or your own situation progresses, the survival of everyone drops.
If no one followed the advice of the strange old man and gotten the F out of Dodge, there's still a few more hints of doom that may be dropped and will give you reason to leave.
Some more subtle than others:
You find a a dead body or bloody tracks made by no known animal = get out.
If there's a box of valuables, you can be sure that SOMEONE is coming to get it, one way or another.
If there's strange or mysterious lore about the area, you may want to keep out.

If, for some reason, you didn't heed the aforementioned hints for survival and find yourself stuck, then please, PLEASE make sure to have these items handy:

1) guns -  I don't care if you don't know how to aim; I don't know how to shoot one and I'm sure I've got terrible aim. But it can't be too hard to shoot something in the brain area when it's knocking on your door.

Now, I'm not particularly a fan of guns; they make me flat out nervous. But, during a zombie apocalypse, I'm sure I can get over that. Especially with one of these...

What is it about making things smaller that makes them cute? Even a gun.

2) bullets -  Duh. Kinda obvious.
3) mass amounts of gas -  I don't mean just fill up your car/scooter/truck/etc. You're going to need enough to fill five vehicle at the minimum. Gas will mysteriously disappear or your vehicle will become a gas guzzler overnight.
4) other weapon-type items - If a zombie challenges you to a fist fight, make sure to bring a chainsaw. There's no shame in fighting dirty.
5) necessities - Food and water are good things.

In closing, Dead Snow was a fun ride and I would recommend it to anyone who loves dark comedy and zombies.

P.S. If you're planning on a trip and your choices are: cabin in middle of freezing nowhere or a beautiful beach. Go with beach every time; there haven't been any reports of zombie beach bunnies.

Or have there?

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