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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Paranormal doodads

Paranormal Entity is today's movie of choice.

Reviews hailed it as the poor man's Paranormal Activity, but I was certainly willing to give it a shot.
And I've got to say, I was not really impressed. The main thing about Paranormal Activity was the feeling of realness. The attention to detail was fantastic; you felt like you were in the couple's home.
However, in Paranormal Entity, while bedrooms were panned over, they felt sterile. It was as if they were lifted from a Sears catalog. Rooms perfectly neat, no posters, no mess, no personal effects.

Well except for the guy's room, which looked like it was purposely made messy. As if the director was like, "Hey pull back the sheets on the bed. Yeah, that's good. Oh! Throw some random change on the bureau. And for the money shot, put some rumpled pants on the floor over there. Oh yeah, it looks like an average dude's room now!"

Except it doesn't.

And then the sister doesn't know how to use a kettle.
Seriously, I had to rewind it because I couldn't believe it the first run through.
Attention to detail, folks. Learn to use a kettle, please.

The 'bickering' between the brother and sister was forced. I was cringing through it.
The mom was.... wishy washy at times, but that might have been the point, so I can't really fault that. Although, it was a bit too easy to change her mind.

So, at one point, the women leave and the brother turns into MacGuyver, complete with fishing wire and bells.
And I must simple ask this... do guys normally have bells? Just, you know, random bells? Hanging around for situations like this...
I felt like I was watching Home Alone for a minute there.

Movie Rule to stay alive #78: don't taunt demons, ghosts or anything that can hurt/kill/maim you. If you do, you're asking for it.

Bells can't save you, you know.
And your doors suck, by the way.

Also, a word to the wise: if you have some sort of demon haunting you, stalking you and touching you while you sleep, you really shouldn't wear provocative things. Sleeping in matching bra and panties set is just asking for trouble.

My recommendation is to watch this movie with friends so you can make fun of it.

In the end, all I could say was, "Wut?"

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