"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -- Maya Angelou
The number one guarantee that will cause an increase in genuine friend and admirers?
A great personality.
Pepper in some charm, empathy and etiquette and you've got someone that most want to be and everyone wants to know.
You don't have to pour on the charisma. It will cause people to believe you are not sincere... or are a door-to-door salesman.
Nothing tickles my fancy more than a guy with a bit of charm.
Except for chocolate-covered strawberries.
In fact, give me a guy that's got a bit of charm holding chocolate-covered strawberries and I'll show you a girl that'll eat out of his hands, literally!
The charm that comes so easy to some and so difficult for others is something that can be grown within you and doesn't require a lot of work or instruction manuals.
The easiest way for me is to just smile at people.
Now this is something that's been partially programmed into me from years of employment in retail and sales. At least I can say I got something out of it!
The other part came from my ability to laugh and laugh and laugh. It's something you could say I was born with. And it's stayed with me all these years despite relationships that threatened to smother it and an illness intent on destroying it.
A smile, a laugh can go along way. It's something that people remember.
Another easy way is to be aware of your surroundings and act upon them. Kindness goes along way.
Now, this doesn't mean giving the shirt right off your back.
This may lead to you getting arrested for indecent exposure and that's not really our goal here.
Hold the door for someone, allow someone to cut in front of you (especially if they have less items than you), lend some change when the person in front of you is short.
The possibilities are endless.
However, the possibilities are also endless to hinder that charm you're working to establish.
At the top of the list, here's a few things that I've found to be immediate turn off and possible situations where I was genuinely scared:
- Being rude to the general public/wait staff (they're there to serve and help you, not get trashed and yelled at.)
- Getting furious/lash out at animals, specifically pets (they love you unconditionally and are not humans. Don't expect them to understand everything.)
- Getting malicious pleasure at an innocent person's expense (notice I said 'innocent.' Sometimes, people do have it coming.)
There's no magic wand I can wave and make you amazing.
If I had such a thing, I'd have used it on myself years ago.
But with a little confidence, a pinch of self worth, a great smile, an easy laugh and a fun attitude can get you a lot farther, sincere-wise, than just a pretty face.
Some people have it easy.
It just takes a bit of work for the rest of us.
But it's certainly something to work toward.